The Dying Art of Personal Sacrifice

Wayne D. Leeper

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Romans 5:8

I do not believe that anyone would deny that our nation is fast becoming a “me first” society.  An unbiased look at almost any aspect of our lives will show this to be true.  While no one would argue that each of us has a responsibility to ourselves and those we love, I feel that in our quest for personal achievement, self satisfaction and self actualization we have lose something very important and very precious. This is the result of a cycle that we have been caught up in which results in one generation passing it on to the next.  The destructive nature of this line of thinking can be seen in our families, our social organizations and our nation.

It is indeed unfortunate that today when two people enter into a marriage arrangement both bring with them this predisposition.  Time was, not so long ago, that young people entered into marriage as a binding life long commitment in which the man expected to provide for his family while the woman believed that her role was that of homemaker, wife, and mother.  In having this understanding of equal but different roles each came into the marriage believing their responsibility was first to each other, then to the children.  The average family lived as well as they could on the finances that the husband was able to provide. This arrangement worked in America for several hundred years.

About fifty years ago our society began to undergo a radical change in thinking regarding the roles of men and women.  Two things seemed to have happened at about the same time.  The first was a desire to have more and more in the way of material things and the other was the idea that stay at home mothers were somehow inferior to those who followed a career in the workplace.

The women’s liberation movement of the early sixties presented the idea that women were suppressed in our society and not allowed to find true fulfillment when they were forced to stay at home with the kids.  They maintained that since women were just as smart as men (which is true) and have the ability to succeed in the business world just like a man (which is also true) that they could never reach their full potential unless they got out of the home and into the business world.  It was during this period that the phrase “quality time” was coined.  The idea presented was that the amount of time spent with each other and with the children was not nearly as important as the “quality” of the time spent together.

The next step in the progression was the concept that “stuff” could replace time in the value system of children.  In other words, if I give my children enough material things it will be just as good as giving them my time.  Nothing could be farther from the truth yet the modern family functions on this very concept.  Since the parents place more importance on their careers and social endeavor than on the welfare of their children, the message received by the children is that they also should place more importance on themselves than on others.  Thus, each generation influences the next and as a result the idea of personal sacrifice is a dying art in America.

The results of this tragic shift in the paradigm of the American family manifest itself in numerous ways.  The most obvious is the evolution into a “me first” society.  This is not only manifested in the workplace, but also in our schools, our homes, and in too many cases, even our churches.  To much emphasis is placed on that which is “politically correct,” and not enough on that which is ‘morally correct.”  As a result, the only thing which cannot be tolerated is intolerance.  If any validation of this fact is necessary, just look at the state of marriage in America and the number of homes torn apart by divorce.

What is obviously absent and badly needed in our nation is a restoration of the art of personal sacrifice.  Parents need to be able to forestall their desire for large houses, expansive automobiles and extravagant lifestyles in favor of spending time with their children.  We need to bring up a generation of children who understand that they have obligations beyond themselves.

This can only be accomplished by parents who are dedicate to the welfare of each other and their family.  Fathers who are willing to provide for their families and have the personal discipline to see to it that the family lives within its means.

Mothers must be willing to sacrifice their personal ambitions in order to fulfill the much greater obligation which they incurred by bringing children into the world.  Teachable moments in the lives of children can not be placed on a schedule.  The forming of young lives is the very foundation of our social and moral structure.  If the family unit fails our society will fail as well as our nation.

If America is to return to the moral standard that was once our greatest strength we must began the process in the home.  The young formative years of our children must be filled with instruction, discipline, and lots of love.  They must learn that we are created beings and that every person has value which must be respected.  We must learn to treat others as we would want to be treated and stop using our spouses, our children, and our friends and associates as stepping stones for our own self advancement.

It has been aptly said that, “America is great because America is good and if ever she ceases to be good, she will cease to be great.”  The challenge of the twenty-first century will be the restoration of the greatness that was America and the restoration of the American dream.  Our families need it, our society craves it, and our national existence demands it.

If America is to return to a nation “wherein dwelleth righteousness,” we, as a people, must restore the art of personal sacrifice.  If the American dream is to become a reality and a beacon to a lost and dying world we must began the process at home; training our children to be well rounded, God-fearing, and law abiding citizens who have a healthy respect for every other individual as a person worthy of our consideration and respect.

May God bless and aide us in this endeavor and may God bless America.